For Her Brother's Sake
by Kedern
Summary: Connor, Matt and Becker come back after a rough mission. Jess goes on a rampage against them. Bad memories arise.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello everyone.**

**A little one-shot that was running through my mind (this version is way softer than what I had imagined, but the first version was really…far-fetched)**

**References to episode 4.4**

**T-rating for some swearing.

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The mission had been quite rough on them.

Connor, Becker and Matt had decided to go check an anomaly by themselves, without backup, despite Jess's pleading.

Apparently, the girl had a sixth sense: as soon as they had entered the place, they had seen an entire army of velociraptors, just waiting for them to have dinner. The situation was so alike the one at McKinnon School.

Nevertheless, they had been able to back them to the anomaly, killing one in the process, then sealed it.

They were sure to have an earful from Lester. Oh boy they were wrong.

As soon as they stepped out of the lift, Jess was pounding on them, probing them not unlike a mother searching any trace of injury on her sons. Once satisfied, she slapped them.

Jess. Slapped. Them.

Alright, what kind of alternate reality had they landed in?

"Could you guys be such morons?" the brunette shouted, for all the ARC to hear. "I told you to wait for backup, but no, of course no, you had to go and play superheroes, without any care in the world about what could happen to you!"

By then she was pacing furiously in front of the ADD.

"Damnit, how am I supposed to help you if you don't listen to one fucking word I'm saying?"

People were gathering around the scene, not to close, fearing Jess's wrath. Jess, calm Jess, unflappable Jess, was currently pacing and swearing like a madwoman in the middle of the room, tongue-lashing three of the people the most qualified to go on field. Even the latter ones were terrified.

"I warned you but no, even if I see creatures, you have to go, like a need to see everyone around you biting their nails to the flesh worrying over you! You don't care about the consequences, the others have to face them! You bastards, you don't even know what's like to be on the other side just watching you going into a trap without a care in the world!"

"Jess-"

"Don't you dare, Connor Temple! You're as much to blame as the other two imbeciles right beside you!"

Said imbeciles didn't understand Jess's exaggerated reaction. It was not the first time they had faced danger, and never once the FC had said anything about it. Showing worry, of course, but never scolding them as if they had committed major crime.

"And you!" she turned to Matt. "You're supposed to be the boss! You're supposed to know the danger! You're supposed to be mature enough to know when to call for backup! What went through your damn head this time?"

"And you!" she jammed a finger into Becker's chest at each appellation, causing Becker to step backwards. "You Mr. _'I'm so strong I don't need anyone'_, Mr. _'I can handle every situation by myself'_, Mr_. 'I don't care if I die 'cause so many have before me'_, Mr. _'I'm so much of a superhero that I can take all the risks'_, what the hell were you planning, collective suicide?"

"Jessica Parker!"

As much as he found amusing the three mavericks being scolded by the young woman, Lester could not let the situation go on any longer. Jess turned her head up to face him, then took her jacket and stomped away.

"I'm out of here."

"Wait!" Becker tried to catch her arm, but she released herself quite forcefully.

"Don't. You. Dare. Touch. Me" she seethed.

All let her go, trudging her way out.

What. The. Hell. Had. Just. Happened?

After a few minutes of heavy silence, Lester asked.

"Does someone in here have a half decent brain to explain what just happened with Miss Parker?"

The onlookers scattered about, leaving Connor, Becker and Matt to answer.

"No idea, sir" Matt replied. "We were going to the anomaly and Jess asked for us to take backup. There was no sign of incursion, so I didn't deem it necessary. Considering it was a heavily populated area, I thought that discretion was preferable. Unfortunately, there had been an incursion, but we took care of it, sealed the anomaly and went back here. And then Jess…"

"Totally blew a fuse on us?"

"Connor!" Matt chastised him.

"What? It's true! As soon as we arrived she totally lost it! We've never seen Jess acting like that before, and it's not the first time such a situation arises!"

"Even though, I doubt we can begrudge her for that. We _should_ have asked for backup, not knowing the situation."

"But that's not only that! I never, ever saw Jess reacting like that, and I live with her!"

"Becker?" Lester asked the captain, seeing he had been silent the whole conversation.

"I have no idea, sir. Jess is usually less demonstrative when it comes to panicking the way she just has."

"Maybe it was the straw that broke the camel's back?" the computer geek tried to guess.

"Hum" Lester was doubtful. "Is there a way to know where she headed right after your… confrontation?"

Connor took place at the ADD.

"Well, she hasn't taken a black box, and her car doesn't have a GPS track…"

"Her cell?"

"Switched off. She knew what she was doing. She's going somewhere and she doesn't want us to know where."

"Then we better let her blow her steam off" concluded the civil servant.

"But, sir-"

"Captain, as worried you are about Miss Parker, I'm sure she can handle it by herself. She just handled three grown armed men in less than ten minutes. Moreover, it should give you a taste of your own medicine."

"Yes, sir."

"Alright, now the situation is taken care of, I have a call on hold with the Secretary. Try not to get reprimanded by a scary girl ten years younger than you in the meantime" Lester chided them, walking back into his office.

Becker turned to Connor.

"You can follow her by CCTV right?"

"Becker, as much as I hate to admit it – and I'll deny it if you tell anyone about it – Lester's right. Jess was pretty much furious and she needs some time alone to sort it out. Hell, did you see how she told you off when you tried to stop her?"

"That doesn't-"

"Let it go, mate" Matt intervened. "If we don't hear from her by tomorrow, we'll go and search her. But Jess is responsible, she won't do anything rash out there."

"She just did" countered the soldier.

"In here, not out there. Let her sort it out. And I promise, if by tomorrow she hasn't come back, we'll find her."

Becker sighed.

* * *

Jess was driving, boiling. She knew she shouldn't have taken the wheel, but she really needed to get out of there, and the sooner the better. Moreover, driving had always calmed her down.

How could they? Taking so many risks like that, then coming back with a smile as if nothing had happened, without even one second thinking about the worry people about them could experience about them?

A part of her brain was warning her she had overreacted. But it was always the same scenario. Being calm and collected during a mission, that she could do, but there was an extent to what she could take.

And those idiots, they had dared to seem surprised when she had burst.

Morons.

Dummies.

Stupid faces.

She was angry at them, but most of all angry at herself, not to have been able to hold it in. She was supposed to take this with calm, which was her first quality as FC, but back there, she had found she couldn't.

She hoped they wouldn't try and find her, or she would give them another piece of her mind.

She finally came to a stop, and looked around her.

_Oh._

Angry driving was apparently not her best, considering it led her _here_.

Here, a tiny 24/7 grocery store, quite well located, but without much around it.

Here, where she had lost her brother.

_"Erwann, don't tell me you finished all the milk already?"_

_"Aw, sorry, sis, I totally forgot!"_

_"Well, you go and buy it now, I've got cooking to make. Wait? Did you forget to buy flour too?"_

_"Erm…"_

_"I can believe it, must I do everything by myself?"__ the younger sibling__ scolded playfully._

_As soon as the brother decided to enter the police academy, his little sister had all but begged to follow him to London. Even though he was supposed to be the oldest one, she was the one always thinking about the necessities, like paying bills or, like this instant, groceries. Erwann didn't seem to be able to live by himself. She always joked that she had to train him now, or no wife would like to behave like a woman from the twenties, having everything to do by herself while the husband was away working. We were in the twenty-first century for God's sake!_

_"Aw, Princess, you'd miss chiding me if I was doing everything right" replied the student._

_"Missing it or not, take a coat, we're going now."_

_"Come on, I have to study tonight" tried to reason the elder._

_"Nuh-uh" she shook her head. "I want you to learn this time how to go grocery shopping properly. You're going with me."_

_Grumbling, the future police officer complied._

_They went into that 24/7 little shop not far from their apartment, Jess taking pity on her brother not to lead him into one of those hypermarkets where you can easily lose yourself._

_They were choosing items, fighting for some, Erwann obviously not understanding the difference between "needing" and "wanting", when gunshots were heard._

_"Everyone face down on the floor! No one moves!" shouted the shooter._

_From where they were, the siblings could easily make out the scene. A hooded man, having a gun, was surveying the crowd while another one was taking money from the cash register._

_"I'm going closer" whispered the elder, making a move forward._

_"No! There's a camera, and people around to witness it! They'll be arrested soon enough! And they're armed, you're not!"_

_"I can handle it! They're obviously newbies at that, I can stop them."_

_"No, don't-"_

_But it was too late. The brunette young man was already moving towards the robbers, expertly._

_"I said no one moves! And stop crying!" the same robber shouted to a customer._

_Suddenly, police sirens could be heard._

_"Damnit! They weren't supposed to act this soon! You warned them, didn't you?" the robber the closest to the cashier grabbed him by his collar._

_Sensing the situation becoming worse, Erwann leaped from his hiding place, trying to push the cashier out of harm's way._

_But took the bullet meant for him._

_The police acted quite quickly, and Jess ran towards her brother._

_"No!"_

_"Sorry sis" he tried to joke with difficulty. "I really am not good at doing shopping."_

_"Just shut up, an ambulance's on its way" she tried to keep him from talking, seeing already the pool of blood under him. She tried to make pressure with her hands, but the flow didn't stop._

_"You know, someone will be very lucky to have you by his side one day. Sorry not to be there to beat his ass up like every older brother."_

_"Shut up! You'll make it, I promise!"_

_He took one of her hands that were trying to stop the blood._

_"Sis, look at me. You know I won't make it."_

_"No, you will! I won't let you go!"_

_"Princess, you have to remember you're the best sis in this world, and that anyone getting our attention is damn lucky to have made it so far. You're a wonderful girl, and I'm sure you'll find someone someday that'll make you understand it…"_

_"Stop talking as if you're dying!"_

_"I love you, Princess."_

_"I love you too" she whispered, before he closed his eyes, his head rolling on the side._

_By then all the sounds around her became fuzzy, as if she was in her little bubble, away from all the agitation around her. She barely registered an officer talking to her, and medics taking her brother away._

_He was gone._

It had been three years today. The very anniversary of his death.

She remembered not to have cried that day, too numb to really understand what was going on around her. She swore to herself she wouldn't let anyone playing hero around her anymore. How ironical. She was _surrounded_ by men playing superhero every day of every year, on the verge of not making it each time they are going on missions.

She now understood why she had lost it when they had come back. She saw everything from her computer, they had been so close of not coming back, ever. Because they hadn't wanted to wait for backup. Her brother, though not a real officer yet, had not wanted to wait for backup either. They were all so close on so many levels.

There in her car, she considered everything, the past, the present. And she cried.

She cried for not having been able to deter her brother from going that day, and for not having cried at his death. She cried for not being able to impose her ideas to the men on the field, and for not being able not to be totally and utterly terrorized when she was seeing them facing danger. She cried for all the times they were so close, and for all the times she deemed she hadn't been quick enough to get them out of harm's way.

A hero left her and she ran into superheroes' arms. She must be crazy. She now had to deal with their everyday dance with Death and to be able to hold in it together enough so that she could be as efficient as they needed her to be.

She was doomed. But she wouldn't leave them for all the tea in China.

For her brother's sake.

_Marcus Tullius __Cicero: 'The life of the dead__ is placed in the memory of the living.'_

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**That was so fast, so bad written and so cliché. But it was going through my mind and I had to write it.**_


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Hello back. Second part to my supposedly one shot, requested by Smile Please10.**

**Jess needs to talk to someone, so she talks.**

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She finally calmed herself down enough to drive back home, not ready yet to face the others at the A.R.C. Everyone would still be working, so she had the apartment to herself.

She entered her place, not really paying attention to her surroundings until she heard someone clearing her throat.

Abby.

"I'm sorry. I won't pretend I haven't heard about what happened, Connor was pretty shaken about the whole thing. But I promised I'd call them if I heard about you, can I? I mean, without telling them you are here of course."

Surprised at the thoughtful act, Jess weakly smiled and nodded.

Abby moved away to call Connor, specifying that she heard about Jess without mentioning her presence at the apartment. Clearly, the news relieved the three men previously facing the FC's wrath, quite worried after she had stormed off.

When Connor had run to Abby, totally panicked, she had had to make him sit and take deep breathes before she could comprehend what had just happened. Knowing Jess probably as much as the young man, she had had some difficulty believing what he had been saying, but his version had then been confirmed by Matt, quite concerned himself. Like Lester, she had advised them not to be looking for her, hoping that Becker would follow that way of thinking. She had told them she would go back home in case Jess tried to reach them there, promising them to call them as soon as she heard anything about the young woman. She had been waiting since then, hoping that the Jess they knew was still in control somewhere, and not gone doing something rash.

She had been relieved when she had heard the door opening, knowing Connor wouldn't be home for a few more hours. Taking in her appearance, she had known Jess wouldn't be able to face the others right now, and that was precisely why she left out her location to Connor.

Jess was nothing like she ever remembered her to be: her clothes were wrinkled, as if put haphazardly, her posture was slouched down, her face wore traces of tears having fallen down, eyes red and puffy, blank stare. She just sat herself on the couch, watching the black screen of the TV.

As soon as she finished her call, Abby prepared some tea, hoping the drink would stir the brunette out of her state. She put the cup down in front of Jess, waiting for her to take it. And she waited.

After what seemed hours, but were actually mere minutes, Jess reached for the cup, holding it between her palms to warm herself up. She took a sip, then just held the cup.

"I think I overreacted."

Abby said nothing, feeling like Jess needing to sort it out by herself before actually talk about it.

"You have a younger brother, right?"

"Yes. Jack" the blonde replied, trying not to disturb Jess opening up.

"Brothers. You need to keep him in check, don't you?"

"All the time. Had to bail out from an anomaly once." Jess looked at her. "With Connor, Danny and Becker. Becker was not that happy about it. Danny probably came because he lost a brother the same way. And Connor…"

"Connor would follow you to the ends of times. Wait, he already has" Jess chuckled.

She sighed.

"We're the sisters. It's practically written down somewhere that we have to watch over them, and prevent them from making silly things. We're the wise ones, no matter if we're older or not. We have to look after them, to scold them, to reward them. We never applied for the job, but we have to."

There was a long silence.

"Did you have a brother?" Abby hesitantly asked.

"Erwann. It's Britton. My mother's side. No guy could approach me closer than three meters. He was taking his 'older brother' role to heart. Seriously. The fights we had about that… On the other hand, he quite was the ladies man: good looks, gentleman, polite, about to be a police officer… The dream guy."

She took another sip.

"Our parents were working a lot, so we were often together. You know, the cliché, big brother coming to school to take little sister home, hand in hand. We were that. We were three years apart. But he was still teaching me all about firearms and military, his passion. I knew French and British army ranks before I knew my multiplication tables, we were talking in alpha, bravo… I can still recite the alphabet that way. It was our thing.

"He was always there when something was wrong. Everyone knew not to touch me otherwise, beware, big brother to the help. A bit on the overbearing side, but I could not not be grateful.

"He always had this strong side of protecting the weaker ones, leading him to trouble most of the time. Once, I was so fed up about him overreacting once again about my protection that he taught me some moves to defend myself. I must say he was not really a good teacher, but I learnt my way in so that he didn't have to be always on my back.

"When he told us he was going into police academy, no one was surprised, quite the contrary. He seemed so happy about this. He finally could fulfill his dream: having the power to actually protect the ones who needed protection, with all the backup he needed, with people around him working for the same goal.

"I couldn't really have my brother away from me, we had been living so closely for our whole lives, it seemed impossible. I pleaded our parents to go with him, saying I would check on him and scold him if he wasn't paying attention. They agreed and I moved in with him to London.

"I actually had to keep him in check: as dedicated as he was in his studies, he always forgot about the 'real' side of life. I often had to remind him to pay the bills, to go shopping, even laundry didn't seem to be his thing."

Abby smiled.

"He was really a great student. Straight A's, dedicated… being a police officer was a real vocation for him.

"There was that one night, he had forgotten once again some items I asked him to pick, so I bullied him into going with me buying them in the little grocery shop there was down the street. Now, I'm thinking it could have waited the morrow but no, I wanted them now to keep up with my schedule.

"We heard gun shots and before I could stop him, Erwann was already on the move. He thought that all these trainings at the academy could actually let him act without any backup, protection nor weapon. I tried though, I swear I tried to stop him. He wouldn't listen to me. One of the gunmen was threatening the cashier, and next thing I know, Erwann is on the floor, bleeding."

She took a deep breath, shaking.

"I held him in my arms, waiting for the EMTs. Told him to hold on, while scolding him for being so reckless. He was dying and I was scolding him. What a sight. I held him, until his last breath. The rest is a bit of a blur. I remember being at the funerals, my parents on each side, saying nothing. The academy offered him the honors, considering his heroic act without even being graduated. It would have meant a lot to him. But I was just feeling the loss of my brother, I couldn't care less. I was thinking about how he didn't want to go that night, but I forced him, to 'educate' him. My parents had said nothing about it, but I know it was my fault he ended there, had I not insisted, he would have stayed at home, and the police would have arrived on time to stop the robbers, and he would still be alive."

Jess's tone was without emotion, as if she was merely stating facts, not remorse.

"Seeing how he acted there, he would have done the same a while later, protection or not" tried to reason Abby. "As far as I understand it, his sense of protecting the others overwhelmed the rest, the fact that you took him with you couldn't have changed that fact. That was who he was. London can be a dangerous city when you don't know it. This is not your fault his life ended there."

"I was supposed to keep an eye on him."

"That's what big brothers do. You're not to blame. The only one you can blame is the one holding the gun. If you begin to think about the 'what ifs', you'll never see the end of it. Life is a chain of reactions no one can predict. It's unexpected. That's why it's life. You can try to prevent an event from happening, but once it happens, you can only try and reduce the consequences."

Jess nodded, for the first time seeing the event into another light.

"He was always playing the hero. I swore to myself I wouldn't ever get close to other heroes."

She stopped. Put the now cold tea on the table.

"It's been three years today. I didn't even know it. I just…I was driving and then, I was in front of _that_ store… I understood."

Abby understood to. Why that reaction, why now.

"I've never really thought about it, before now. I watch you guys going on the field, dealing with things that could be the end of you one day, and I can't do anything but see you approaching danger, fearing of you not coming back. You take risks, all of the time. And I'm just watching."

"You're not _'just'_ watching, Jess. You're our _Field Coordinator_. That means you're with us, on the field. If we make it, it's only because you helped us out, one way or another. We couldn't be able to do half of the things we do if you weren't there to find information or crack codes to access CCTV or else."

"When that works."

"Even when that doesn't work, you find a way around; I mean it, Jess. We've never had a FC before, we just went, and we kinda made it up right on site. And we lost people. Lots of them. You're here to prevent that. You see things we can't, and that's what saves lives. Unfortunately, sometimes it's not enough, but it's better than nothing. We're not your brother. We're not Erwann. We have each other's back, and you have our backs too. That makes a big difference. I won't say nothing will ever happen to you, because that's a lie, but you being with us decreases dramatically the chances of one of us not making it out alive."

"When you're not taking stupid risks."

"Believe me, after the stunt you pulled this morning, I can assure you the boys will think twice before going to an anomaly without backup. You had them totally terrified. God, even Matt didn't seem to know what to do after your departure. Connor was out of it, and I can't even imagine Becker" Abby laughed.

Jess hid her head in embarrassment.

"I think everyone witnessed my outburst."

"And _I_ think it's for the best. Look, you had three of our best guys afraid of your reaction. Everyone will follow suit."

"I don't think I can face them anymore…"

"Come on, it was entirely justified. You asked them to wait for backup, they didn't. You're the FC, you should be listened to. Serves them right. The best now, is to go back to the A.R.C. as if nothing has ever happened. No one will try searching what the whole thing was about. But they will remember it, and won't mess with you for a while. And if ever you have another remark, you sure will be listened from now on."

"That's a good point" the brunette relented.

"Good, now, time for pizza, before Connor arrives and eat it all by himself!" the blonde jumped from the couch to take the phone from the receiver.

"Abby?"

"Hum?"

"What I told you about… can you…"

"My lips are sealed" Abby made a zip motion.

"But you know" she added, "when you have something like this running through your head… you should really talk about it. By the past, people thought they could handle it all by themselves, and it didn't work out very well. We're facing the same problems, the same fears. I'm not saying you should tell me everything, but talking to anyone would be great."

"You talk to Connor?"

"And to you too. Connor cannot understand it all sometimes. I need another friendly advice, or a girl advice. I come to you. You don't really notice it because you're that good of a listener, you're a natural. Eh, even Becker talks to you sometimes. We all need to vent to someone."

"I'll keep that in mind."

"Good."

Abby was about to dial when she stopped.

"Say, now that everyone fears you, do you think you can ask Lester for a pay rise?"

"Abby!"

"Just sayin'"

**

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AN: And now it's definitely over. Sorry for the end, I was aiming for something a bit comical, but those words would actually be better in Connor's mouth.**

**Anyway, now this two-shot is definitely complete, I hope you liked it.**


End file.
